I wasn't raised like this. My dad was in the Navy for 23 years and retired. Our family didn't go to jail and such. Someone could have gotten hurt or worse been killed. I feel like this is my fault in a way..
My dad is an alcoholic. He has been for as long as I can remember. He would wake up drinking and go through 60 some beers in less than 2 days. Well, a little over a month ago he quit cold turkey. My church and I prayed and prayed and he quit! I was so happy! I allowed him in my house and around my kids. He started going to church with us and was happy.
My dad called last night 2 times in a row and left a message on my voice mail. He didn't sound like his sober self. I know my dad and had a feeling he was drinking. He called from my aunts house, so I knew something was going on. I didn't call him back till this morning and could tell in his voice that he was drinking again. He asked how I was and the kids and I told him fine. When I asked him how he was he said he was being a "pendejo". I asked why and he said "because that's who I am." He then let me go. I just knew he was drinking but didn't know the extent of what had happened. I went on my facebook and had a message from my uncle saying I'm sorry about your dad. He mentioned that he heard from another uncle and then saw in the paper. He asked about fines and such. I had no idea what he was talking about. I sent him a message asking what was going on and then decided to look online my self. This is what I found. I changed his name to "My Dad" and made the locations blank.
"My Dad, 50, of , , was arrested for alleged DWI subsequent to the investigation of a motor vehicle collision at Road and Avenue. My Dad was additionally cited for alleged careless driving, no insurance and display of current valid registration. My Dad was incarcerated at to appear in Municipal Court"
How is it my fault? Well, a few weeks ago I starting getting sick. It's been so hot here and was making it worse. I walk around the house in a shirt or a nursing tank and boy shorts. I would never let my dad see me like this so I haven't had him over. He would call and I wasn't good at returning his calls since I was too tired or just didn't want to talk. He went camping last weekend and came by before he left. I talked to him on Monday for a short while before he said he would call back. When he called back it was about time for me to go to bed so I didn't answer. He came by Tuesday the day all this happened in the early afternoon. It was too hot and I didn't want to put clothes on so I didn't answer the door.
If I would have kept going to church despite the way I have been feeling and relied on God to heal me, my dad would have been going to Church with us. If I would have just sucked it up and dealt with the heat then my dad could have came here and hung out instead of being in the middle of nowhere (where he lives alone). He wouldn't have had time to even think about drinking being around his grand kids. If I would have returned his call and talked to him....If I would have let him in my house the day this happened he could have hung out here spent the night and went to church on Wednesday. This would have never happened if I would have been a better daughter.
Dr. Jekyll says this isn't my fault and that he made that choice. But, I as a daughter should have known that my dad needed me and I let him down. My heart aches and I'm hurting because of this. So, with all the evidence laid out....I am to blame.
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